If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
