Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
