Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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