DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize