if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
