Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
