Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
