Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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