There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
