the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
