Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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