Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
this hospital has no fireball
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
