Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
