My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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