i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
