i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
