Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
