Rock
Scissors
Fuck
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
