If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Two words: blizzard sex
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
