Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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