I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
