Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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