Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
