do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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