I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
