I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
