so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
