i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
