If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
