the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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