i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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