I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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