I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
