so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
