Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
