you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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