Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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