i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
