oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize