I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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