Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
