I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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