The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
