I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
you're hired as official boob wrangler
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
