So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
