I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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