Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
