two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
How many fucks given?
0.12846
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
