Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
