Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
