Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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