one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
