You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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