He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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