I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Shame - the story of my life.
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