Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
