Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
