Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
