This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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