I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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